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Have you ever tried not to complain for any length of time?
How’d it go?
Because for me, complaining is a struggle. I don’t even need a good reason. I am just guilty. Over and over. Try as I may, complaints still bubble up and spill out of my mouth.
But, complaining is a product of an ungrateful heart.
Ouch.
Yup, hard as it is to admit if I’m complaining I’ve let ungratefulness take hold of my heart. But, I can choose to change directions when I’m in the middle of complaining and teach my kids a better way. Or I can at least try.
This weekend when our turkey money ran off, I had the opportunity to make a change.
Turkey Money and Teachable Moments
My husband and I were going over our weekly grocery list and getting ready to head to the store. We were discussing our budget and other bills and Hubby decided to check our online bank statement.
When he did he found a fraudulent charge that had just debited out.
We have never had our bank account hacked before and were a little stunned and felt violated. We don’t have a lot of extra money sitting in the bank. And, we live paycheck to paycheck a lot of months, which made the timing of this so hard to stomach. A few days before Thanksgiving, someone was running off with our turkey money.
We were upset and rightfully so.
It was a Saturday afternoon. We couldn’t contact our bank. So, there really wasn’t a whole lot we could do. We felt helpless, hurt and frustrated.
We decided to go to the grocery store as we had planned. Now, with an even tighter budget than before.
As we drove to the store my husband and I continued to talk about the theft of our funds. And, suddenly our son interrupted, “Wait, you’re money got stolen?”
And, I realized that our kids were listening. We hadn’t been purposefully keeping our conversations from them or hiding what we were talking about. But, I had one of those, oh so rare for me, crystal clear parenting moments.
Parenting with Prayers
My kiddos were getting yet another, first-hand lesson on how to deal with life. And, at this moment it was directly from us.
I had the choice to complain or pray.
The realization hit me that years from now when my kids were all grown up, they could have something like this happen to them. And, they could very well respond in whatever way we did.
So, right there in our truck as we drove to the grocery store God nudged my heart with the words of my son. And, I started praying. I thanked God, out loud, for all the things we did have at that moment.
Each other, our health, money to buy our groceries, and that even in this circumstance we knew God works all things together for our good.
It could have been a longer prayer, it could have included so much more. But, it didn’t and I think that’s okay. I think it was enough at that moment.
Because, it was a sharp turn from complaints to gratitude, from worry to resting in God, from fear to faith.
Hiding My Flaws
Parenting is hard.
And, not just for the reasons we usually list like the sleepless nights, 24- hour call schedule, or limited free time. It’s tough because our actions, reactions, and words are all available to be modeled by our kids.
And, as a homeschooling parent, I’ve come to realize that this lifestyle is just as much about my kids watching me handle life as it is about education, if not more so.
They have a front row seat to my best and worst moments. All day long. And, my every reaction to life as it happens in real time.
Yikes.
That is a weighty job description.
There are days that I wish I could hide my flaws and save the worst of me for after my kids have gotten on a school bus.
But, for us, our goal in homeschooling and parenting is making sure that our kids know the fierce and unfailing love of their savior Jesus Christ. So, I’m learning to embrace those messy moments where I catch myself grumbling and have the opportunity to turn it into a prayer.
The small prayer I said on the grocery store this weekend was some of the best parenting I’ve ever done. And, it was fully God. Because remember, I can complain with the best of ’em;)
And, I realized that that’s often how it happens. It’s the little everyday moments that tell the story of how our children will learn to be adults. Adults who love Jesus and turn to him when trouble comes. We can plan, we can be purposeful, but our children are watching in those everyday moments to see how we react. And for better or worse, to one day model them.
How do you handle moments like this with your kids?
Let me know in the comments.
Heidi
